Demoralized

The steam went out of all of us when our district started with massive layoffs.  I didn't get a pink slip (because they can't cut math out of the curriculum), but it's demoralizing nonetheless. Our school board and district administration handled it badly, and took no responsibility for the awful way they went about it, giving out pink slips to last year's District Teacher of the year with over 20 years of service, and some teachers with over 30 years.  These were good teachers, loyal teachers, teachers whom the kids love too.  So both staff and students have lost a bit of momentum and hope.  Some of my colleagues will be gone next year, class sizes will be bigger, and we're losing essential programs like music and art.  One of the school board members shed tears over having to cut ANYTHING from the athletics budget.  She didn't mind so much firing teachers or cramming 50% more K-3 kids in classrooms next year.  But threaten the football program, and the tears flow.  This clueless and inept school board member (she's a waitress in her day job) proposed reducing the cut to athletics to 5% instead of 20%.  She tearfully talked about how "sports changes lives!"  Another (more sane and educated) board member reminded her that "EDUCATION changes lives".  They ended up cutting the already huge athletics budget by only 11 or 12 percent; which means they'll have to take the difference from somewhere else. They cut the 6th grade music and marching band program completely; one of the teachers for that program spoke and said they were cutting music at the roots--if they don't introduce it early, they'll lose a lot of kids.  Who's gonna play the fight songs at those football games?  

Certainty

If I had the world to give I'd give it all to you. . .

My dear daughter is back from 5 months in France as an exchange student, and I know it's hard for her to be missing her family and friends there.  I am delighted, contented, full of wonder at her growth and as always awed by her great goodness of heart.  In a few months she will be off to college, and I intend to cherish these last few months with her.  And I also feel an odd sense of sadness because I can't give her what she wants most, which is to have the life she loved in France and also have her life here.  I know, and she knew, it would be like this.  There are many things I would love to give my dear and deserving daughter, but I can't give her France.  

Inauguration Day

I went to an event in a nearby town, where we watched the inauguration ceremony and speech, and celebrated with food and music.  As we watched G.W. Bush lift off in the helicopter on his way to Texas, we sang, "Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey, goodbye" and cheered.  I was standing next to my former therapist, and I asked her, "As a mental health professional, do you feel some sympathy for the guy or do you just see him as a war criminal like the rest of us do?"  She looked thoughtful for a few seconds, then said, "To say I feel sympathy would be too personal.  I would say I feel some compassion.  My Buddhist self compels me to feel compassion."  Then she contemplated for a few more seconds, bounced off toward the dance floor, and said, "Aw, f**k it, I hate the guy; I need to go dance now."

Last day for 43

Certainly the years of the 2nd Bush administration will be remembered as the era of preemptive war, of torture, of spying on Americans, of incompetence and/or deliberate abdication of responsibility, of Bush-fiddles-while-Rome-burns head-in-the-sand non-action on global climate change.  I hope history books also brand them as the archetypes of shameful and malignant cowardice.  This mob of fools used fear--and exhibited fear--in response to every threat, real or imagined.  Instead of inspiring the people with courage, with calling forth our better angels, they cowered in undisclosed bunkers, whiled away time in the wastelands of Texas while a city drowned, whined and grew petulant in the face of hardship, and dishonored themselves, our nation, and each and every one of us, both on the world stage and within our own collective psyche.  Bush hopes the history books will portray him as he deserves to be portrayed, and on this one point I agree wholeheartedly with President #43.  

The Best One-Sentence Summary of How We Feel About W:

"He's America's mean ex-husband and the country can't wait to sign the final divorce decree."

from Digby's post "Portrait of a Jackass" at digbysblog.blogspot.com

Listening to our LGBT brothers and sisters

There seems to be a convergence of experiences and insights for me lately:  

1) I've been listening to Story Corps podcasts, marveling in the simple wisdom of this medium and the magic of listening.  

2) I saw the movie Milk, about assassinated San Francisco city supervisor and gay activist Harvey Milk, and his message about coming out:  we cannot achieve equality until everyone comes out.  I take that to mean not only the gay community, but allies as well. It's easy to sit out the revolution under the cloak of polite society, but this will not achieve equality.  

3) Prop 8 passed in California, and it has sparked activism on a much larger scale.  

4) A few parents at the high school where I teach have complained about the presence of the Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) club, for which I am advisor.  I am constantly trying to find the balance between making our club and the cause visible while advocating for civil rights and tolerance, and creating a sanctuary for LGBT kids and allies to meet and socialize without having to out themselves if they aren't ready to do so.  I know the temptation to lay low, under the radar, and try not to attract the ire of those in the school community and outside of it, those who wish to maintain the status quo of oppression, shame, bullying, name-calling, and intolerance.  

5) Another teacher at my school told me recently that he estimates that 20% of our staff are actively opposed to the GSA and our advocacy at the school.  This surprises me (though it shouldn't) and definitely these colleagues don't express their opposition to me directly.  I often say that if they could only hear the stories I hear, listen to the pain and fear in the voices of students who suffer under this oppression--they might feel differently, at least so far as to do their part to put an end to the verbal harassment and bullying that goes on under their noses. 

So I am launching a project.  I will gather these stories, make the voices heard, at least in my own small community.  I began by interviewing a college student and graduate of our high school, former president of the GSA, activist and advocate in San Francisco.  I don't know yet how this project will manifest itself ultimately.  I will post some of the transcripts on this blog as I gather and transcribe them.  If each of us who hopes to achieve equality for our LGBT brothers and sisters would take on some small part, even if it's only listening, maybe we will be a force too great to be ignored.