Today I read this thought-provoking blog post by Aman:
Yes, this is a powerful metaphor, the longing for the spice which satisfies. I do not crave spicy food, but the metaphor provokes me. My experience is that this kind of elemental satisfaction has come when I stopped looking for it, but this has been said so many times that it sounds banal.
The post makes me think of a paradox I've been contemplating lately. Why is it that I had such angst when I was young, such longing, such inability to find what would satisfy me, such fearfulness that some choice, large or small, would lead me down the wrong road and defer me from my destiny? Why, when I was young, and pretty, did I feel so inadequate? Why, when my body was strong and fit, did I find myself stumbling through my life? Why, when my mind was at the peak of it's prowess, did I make wrong-headed decisions, failing to see the potential joy that existed in every gift of another day? And now I find, at age 55, that I'm happier than I have ever been. I feel more loved than I have even felt. I am learning to be more playful, more free. I know that the choices I make, sometimes inadvertently, may lead me down a path I never expected, perhaps far better than I could have imagined or planned. I am learning to trust fate, not fear it. The change has not come about because I've changed the circumstances of my life so much. It happened because I no longer hold the goodness of my life at arm's length while I search for some elusive better path. And the paradox is that, even as my spirit becomes more youthful, I am already so far down the road of my life; my mother and grandmother were already gone when they were just 17 years older than I am now. 17 years! I might get more than that, or I might get less, but, either way, I have traveled far more than half the journey already. It brings tears to my eyes to think that it took me so long to get here. But the experience of my life tells me, don't hesitate! When I calm myself, and trust, I believe that the trajectory of my journey may well take me to greater satisfaction, that the end will come when I dissolve into bliss.
George Bernard Shaw said, "Youth is wasted on the young"; he describes this paradox more succinctly than I have done.
1 comment:
Hurrah for this post and its carpe-diem enthusiasm!
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